The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
