She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
