I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
