It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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