I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
