Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
