he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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