I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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