I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
