You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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