Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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