don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
