Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
