im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
