Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
