No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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