dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
