someone threw a dead crab at me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
