he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
