It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
