I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
