i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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