My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
