If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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