No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
