so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
