This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
