Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
