i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
