no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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