I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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