I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to calm my uterus...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
