Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
