Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
