I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
