Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize