after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
