and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
