More tranny stories later!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
