I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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