i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
