Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I am morally bankrupt
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
