As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
