dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
