Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
