hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
not ubering you a puppy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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