you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All the doctor said was why
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
