He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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