I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
