Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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