got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
