That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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