We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
