I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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