If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
