Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
