Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
