omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
