Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
