can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
